|This was the happiest day of my life--
my randomly picked horse Funny Cide
(the murder of all that is funny) took first
at Bruce and Connie's Annual Kentucky Derby Party.
I pulled two names and gave Scrimshaw to Sarah,
keeping the murder of all that is funny to myself.
"C'mon, Funny Cide, show me your winning side!"
"Come on, Funny Cide, it's time help with the rent!"
My exhortations did the trick. I waved my ticket in the air,
shook my ass in a victory dance, and accepted the wad
of bills with a shit-eating grin! Victory is sweet. USA! USA!*
the author's winnings were exhausted within
27 hours, most of it going down his throat.