One thing I'm not is a woodsman.
Sarah's parents' 50-acre property abuts a state forest. When Sarah asked
me to join her on a search for edibles on the other side of the fence, I
reluctantly went. We were told to watch for snakes but what drove me to
distraction were the mosquitoes feasting on my legs. Tomorrow, a bear will
come down out of these same woods, but my continual belching and singing
was enough to keep the large mammals at bay today.