about 60 earth years ago, on july 16,
1945, the first atomic bomb was exploded at alamogordo, NM. this was a momentous
occasion. momentous because the scientists pushing the button (actually,
throwing the lever, turning the key, electric chair or auto ignition) felt
there was a chance that nuclear fission might set off a chain reaction combusting
all the oxygen in the atmosphere. the sky would burn and all life on the
surface would instantly perish. still, they threw the switch, guessing
(correctly) that their experiemnt would not be the end of the world. (at
least not that day.)
###
Two women were brought before King Solomon, both claiming to be the mother
of an infant. Solomon declared that he would cut the baby in two and give
each woman half. Neither objected to the plan. the scimitar was raised,
descended, and neatly sliced the baby from crotch to skulltop. Now, said
wise King Solomon, you must each wear half this child around your necks under
pain of death. And it came to pass. Twenty years later, the mummified remains
of the half-baby hung between the withered breasts of the surviving woman.
She was working as a prostitue in a busy port, all her teeth long gone from
drink and neglect; she was known for giving very good head. Just look for
the wench with the dead baby around her neck, a sailor would suggest to his
mate, but make no mention of it.
###
when the first atom bomb exploded in New Mexico, dosing generations of future
Americans with radioactive fallout, it created a portal to another spacetime
dimension, one which opened the earth up to casual invasion by roving alien
bandits. the americans attempted to reach an agreement, assuming the invaders
to represent a government, and thus be open to diplomatic negotiations. but
the creatures were outlaws even in their own dimension, and, sensing they
had the upper hand, decided to subjugate humanity. they sent landers to control
the population, whose toil and suffering would provide them sustenance. these
landers were called television by Earth's unwitting populace. they accepted
it as reality and did whatever it told them. the aliens were pleased. assuming
the form of humans, cared for by Earth doctors, the gangsters from afar ate
whoever they wanted and feasted on human misery.
###
Some say that if the two baby halves were ever united, it would close the
Alamogordo wormhole. I devoted my life to this search and am pleased to report
that I found them. One was in a roadside freakshow tourist trap museum in
tennessee, the other was mistaken for a depleted uranium shell casualty in
the Persian Gulf War of 1991 A.D. I have brought the two pieces together
using a very special thread, and almost immediately i perceive aliens (disguised
as world leaders) slowly asphyxiating on TV. Additionally, the televisions
themselves have begun to melt, leaving small piles resembling dried poodle
feces. Snapping awake, the zombie slaves suddenly stand up, renounce professional
sports, and head to the kitchen for dustpans to sweep up the remains. Then,
proceeding outside, they set fire to their homes, automobiles, clothes, and
trees. The flames leap, creating a planetwide firestorm which sucks all the
oxygen out of the atmosphere; billions die in paroxysms of erotic strangulation.
So much for good intentions. The end. |
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| beautiful mofo day for the wisdom of cats |
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| waiting for the bus, the pumps are idle for the moment |
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signs of life at pine st! drum kit and breakdancing.
jeremy sez they do without permission, the nearby
Gap (yuck!) glad b/c they "bring hella people" |
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"off the page" at SOIL (1318 E Pine),
sarah and others rif on the theme of 3-D narrative |
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