i felt kind of alone and at odds with myself.
i seem to have a mental block against success,
or maybe it's integration--lifetime conditioning
taught specialization, separation, segregation:
by function, of body, along age. today, a garage.
i'm content to string wire, bend hooks with pliers,
without once asking how it all hangs together.
then later i say "i worked electrical." i'm a fake.
still, i can close my eyes and make it all go away.
on the ferry i stay in the truck, get halfway
to a nap, open my eyes to see little girls
in the back of a station wagon smiling & waving.
i flash a grin, a shark with a tic, and pull down
my bill so i can't be seen & they disappear
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