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had to go back to high school again to finish some credits tho i'd
been avoiding it
most of the year. i dressed poorly, unshaven, i didn't care what the other
students
thought of me. i was in hempstead, made my way to
holy
trinity where i decided i
wouldn't say much to anyone. 4th floor locker, i took wheelchair-friendly
escalator,
combo was 8-8-8-2 and there was very little in it. 1st period was religion
w/ mr. torti,
i'm already late, room 212 (schedule taped in back of notebook), i stood
outside the
room--they were watching Power Rangers. how stupid, i thought, but as i
watched
i saw something in it, the monster arisen from the ooze, how they fought
it, their
weapon hit it, the wound spread like a cancer. i decided to quit. i had nothing
more
to fear from high school. i went to the office to make sure but they were
backed up
so i just said fuck it--i already had my BA and masters, what's the worst
they could
do? back home, dishes piled in the sink, my mother fought with my sister,
knife and
fingernails, i got b/t them and broke it up. enough!
in my dream i knew i was
dreaming,
that this was my way of putting old
demons to rest. maybe it's because i'd
spoken w/ chet* for the first time in years.
also, earlier in the day i'd mentioned that
recurring high school nightmare. and just
before bed i'd been reading richard
feynman,
wherein he mentions his own dabbling with
lucid dreaming. i woke up after 6 hours of
sleep curiously refreshed. i mentioned it to
the kavages over coffee and virginia said it
was probably more complex than that--again
echoing feynman: "...[T]hat one was too per-
fect--too cut and dried. Usually you have to
do a bit more analysis."
*childhood friend
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