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Picture of the Day
| today | tonight

Octuber 31, 1999

@#$%!        Please to Visit the Library of Schmexual Congress        @#$%!


What is SCHMECK Gas?
It is the muzak of the freers.

Where Can I Pressurize My Tank?
Get a free Winamp, then visit the Library of Schmexual Congress

Must SCHMECK always be capitalized?
But of course.

In America it is possible to order fuel for your belly even as you feed your automobeast on the way to modern airport where rubberwheeled subway shuttle speaks in Pacific Rim tongues so much so you think maybe you go backwards but that is just another word for moving forward in circles.

In America, the trim uniformity of that strip of grass between where you sleep and where you park your car must be maintained so it is necessary to hook a hose to the toxic smoke part of your odormobile to euthanize warmblooded subterranean lawnwreckers.

But please to be careful there are no kinks otherways you may be the one to take the big sleep. If this happens, purchase the headphones on your flight to the afterlife and this is what you will here.