put on your x-ray specs look forward to the end

Picture of the Day
yesterday | today tomorrow

December 7, 2000


give yourself a HAND! custom prints made to order drop me a line please sign the guestbook read any good books lately? get email when this site is updated SCHMECK die SCHMECK auf SCHMECK

From: zveRina <rob@zverina.com>
To: <xxxxxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com>; <xxxxxxxx@earthlink.net>
Sent: Thursday, December 07, 2000 3:06 PM
Subject: Re: rants and raves

D. Boon said it best...

let the products sell themselves
fuck advertising and commercial psychology
psychological methods to sell should be destroyed
because of their own blind involvement
in their own conditioned closed minds
the unit bonded together, morals, ideals, awareness, progress --
let your-self be heard!

p.s. As for "billboards and 30 second spots can be the true test of a creative genius.": Remember the billboard scene at the end of Brazil? How much longer before every freeway sound barrier (those miles of beige concrete walls that supposedly insulate crapbox developments from the relentless roar of traffic) is pasted with an ad?

p.p.s. I spoke at length with a guy who vinyl wraps buses, airplanes, and skyscrapers in ads. He travels all over the world and had Todd Rundgren sign his Rundgren-wrapped Beetle. I think his name was Chris. It was when I picked up the wrapped MSN butterfly van. They didn't tell National Car Rental that they were doing it. I was a living logo. For Micro$oft. $35/hour. Now who's Satan? Then last week I marched with 2,000 others, taking the streets all the way from downtown Seattle to hipster enclave Capitol Hill and back again, chanting (without irony): "Who's streets? Our streets!" We meant it. The police could not keep up. It's only when you're a sitting duck that they can get their shit together, but there were signs in Seattle that even the armed guardians of the peace, our public servants the police, are losing their stomach for it. After all, propaganda works, and by protesters articulating their agenda to the police, the police, being human, cannot help but hear. They're beginning to suspect they're pawns--during 1999's peaceful WTO protest (dubbed "N30" for November 30) they worked 16-hour shifts, had only one meal/day, and pissed and shit themselves because their (unmarked) riot suits could not be easily removed. Like the knights of yore, truly, right down to the horses and batons so like swords.

So, fight the good fight, get plenty of exercise (instead of eating at lunch GO OUTSIDE for a walk and keep little bags of bulk food trailmix in the pockets of your jacket for grazing), and *UNIONIZE* the Internet workers...

Stay involved with human peoples, cultivate friendships, host brunches, and have fun. We are here to enjoy ourselves. If that seems increasingly difficult in these times, chances are someone is responsible. Ask who. And why. And how are they keeping it together? Lies.

you rant

----- Original Message -----
From: xxxxxxx xxxxxx <xxxxxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com>
To: <xxxxxxxxxxxxx@hotmail.com>; <xxxxxxxx@earthlink.net>
Bcc: zveRina <rob@zverina.com>
Sent: Thursday, December 07, 2000 3:06 PM
Subject: rants and raves

> it's about time you all heard from me. and so i am gonna rant. if you want
> to read something mildly entertaining, or possibly very boring and stupid,
> then read on. if not, know i am doing well, hate my job, and live in
> alexandria.
> i want to let you all into a world of mine that you don't know much about.
> it's called work and it sucks ass. i thought i was crazy for a little while
> but thanks to an article in today's cnn.com postings, i realize that i am
> not crazy, but rather i am just one of many people in jobs that suck.
> this article, The Big Sleep. Nodding Off: Napsters at Work, has given me
> hope. http://www.cnn.com/2000/CAREER/trends/12/05/napping2/
> all these people are napping at work cause their work sucks, trust me i know
> this. the article might say buzz words like "sleep deprivation,
> overextended..." and so on, but don't buy it.
> Every day at noon I stuff myself with some sort of food (usually a big fat
> burrito) and then i am stuck in a comatose state. On days that really suck I
> have a afternoon conference calls and I can barely keep my head up during
> the meeting. I have been called out on numerous occasions for doing the good
> old head drop when the weight of your head totally beats out the strength of
> your neck muscles and your head goes bobbing up and down like one of those
> little dashboard baseball players with the spring necks. though i am not
> that lively. i am sure you all remember these tragic bobs- think back to
> college lectures a very popular place for the doze off.
> anyway on other days when i don't have conference call hell i save myself
> and my sanity, and at the times the lives of my co-workers i am about ready
> to kill, by taking a walk to the outside bathroom (the one for the whole
> floor that not many people use), step inside a stall and take a little nap.
> how is that possible? very easily. throw down the seat. drop your heavy head
> back and close your eyes. soon you will be dreaming. at least i do.
> you can really reach a peaceful state in those little stalls. at times its
> better than my bed because the nap is so much more needed at that point.
> however there can be obstacles. somedays other women are rude enough to come
> in and disturb my sleep by using the stall next to mine, disrupting my
> afternoon serenity. that sucks. but still there are the days when i can go a
> whole ten minutes undisturbed and unnoticed and it is wonderful. i walk
> back to my little cubicle refreshed and sit down and start crunching numbers
> aboutb banner ads again. i must add- there is always a little sense of
> beating the company after these naps. i just slept on their dollar. ha ha
> ha. yes i might have just done it in a bathroom stall in an non-chiropractor
> approved position, but still they paid me to do it.
> now let's talk about those little products of satan that generate the
> revenue that pays for my time in bathroom stalls: banner ads
> what i do for a living these days is place banner ads for Network Solutions
> (Goliath) on AOL (Satan) properties. it sucks ass. yes i will admit it's
> cool to say you work with AOL or that Yahoo! just threw your office a party,
> but the work itself is so, I don't know- fucking pointless?
> as a little disclaimer- i went into this industry thinking that i would be
> doing media planning- that's what my job title is in fact: assistant
> interactive media planner. i knew banner ads were evil but i thought that if
> i operated under my plan to break into market research at some small ad
> agency i would be ok. that i could keep a clear conscience about what i do.
> i was wrong.
> the best-known ads out there are called 468x60s, meaning that they are 468
> pixels wide and 60 pixels high. fucking great. the most excitement we get is
> when they accept html creative. that means you, the viewer, can interact
> with the banner. i know how exciting that is.

trip the little walking man with your finger!

> how many of you have actually clicked on a banner- and please don't tell me
> you've punched the monkey. people in our business hate the monkey. in fact
> his creators have even offended peter gabriel by throwing up a new version
> that says shock the monkey. horrible.
> i like to think about advertising in this way:
> there is graffitti that is art and it is beautiful. its expressive, its
> creative and i don't mind that it's painted illegally on the side of a
> normal brick building.
> then there's writing on bathroom walls. this is trash. this is not art, it
> is not expression. (no limericks about taking a shit do not count as
> expression, nor does "for hot sex call xxxxxxx at...").
> it is my humble opinion that advertising in general does not suck, though
> some argue that it is pure evil. billboards and 30 second spots can be the
> true test of a creative genius. (if you do not believe this check out the
> new revolvolution billboards or the sony ads in which hicks kidnap santa
> claus...)
> the ads that we all remember are pieces of art, expressive like good
> graffiti.
> but banner ads are nothing more than the scribble on bathroom walls. they
> are not creative, not expressive, and nothing more than an eye sore. they do
> not drive sales. they might cause brand recognition but not for the amount
> that running banners costs.
> i do not scribble on bathroom walls. i have never written of my sexual
> exploits while pissing out all the beer i just drank at the bar. it could be
> the lack of permanent markers or sexual exploits to write about, but i
> prefer to think its respect for the next person in line for the hopper.
> they, if they are like me, want one of two things out of their bathroom
> stall- cleanliness and a little place to nap.
> internet users, if they are like me, want one of two things- information or
> entertainment. and i don't mean cheesy entertainment like punching monkeys
> or numbers to call for great hot sex.
> i want my internet experience to be as peaceful as my ten minute naps in the
> bathroom stalls of the world. i want my naps to be void of fat women coming
> in and slamming their stall doors shut and i want my surfing to be free of
> annoying banner ads that i click by accident and jump me to another page. or
> the worst are the interstititials that are woven into a page and pop up in
> your face when you sign onto a site and just don't seem to ever go away. i
> like to call them leap frog ads. that is not an industry term. do not use it
> with internet advertisers thinking you are hip, they will laugh at you. you
> are welcome for the warning.
> trust me you do not want to mess with interent advertisers. for the most
> part these are very fucked up people. number one sign- they believe internet
> advertising works.
> a discussion of these people will be reserved for a future email.
> _____________________________________________________________________________________
> Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com