you might have already guessed: this website is fucking bullshit.  bullshit in the sense that it's not very honest, is quite comfortable with pretense. but! i'm trying. hoping that by doing it every day i'll at least approach an approximation of truth--not just in overcoming the lies i tell you (omission, revision), but by digging deeper, into the stuff i hide from myself without even knowing it. what good will that do? who the fuck knows? but it seems like a worthwhile goal. and the way to get there is just spew...

and if that sounds a little harsh, or negative, good! fuck phony optimism and false civility. if two people were to have a real conversation, they might conclude that the world is indeed a very fucked up place and not getting any better, so they'd have to stage an intervention. 'zooks! that sounds like work. better to just take your change with an insipid smile and say have a nice day.

speaking of which, i had a really nice day today. hung out with rodman and steve stamping molten glass. too much alone time can be very bad. TV/internet does not count as a friend.