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July 14, 2004

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i done some people wrong,
and some people done
me wrong, probably in
about equal proportion,
so maybe there's some-
thing to karma after all
(not that one should keep
track of every good and
bad deed--karma counters
get lost in accounting).
but just because i may
have "deserved" the ills
which have befallen me, that
doesn't take the sting out,
and i still have some un-
resolved feelings towards
a person who dished me
so much dirt. he occupies
my thoughts way too much
and i was thinking about
that as i paused by cascade
lake on the bikeride back
from eastsound. i don't know
where i got the idea, but it
suddenly occured to me
that maybe he's haunting
me because i haven't found
it in my heart to truly forgive
him. so i'm working on that now.

6 years ago today...
cascade lake

cascade lake
closer to the surface, i had a really great day.
it started with a low fog hugging the water, an effect
similar to the dry ice bowls craig and i set on the
cafe tables. the dry ice came from a big delivery
of produce and other goods. nicely overcast, i
decided this would be a good day to test ride my
new touring bike the 11.2 very hilly miles to east-
sound. i bumped into young josh from ithaca and
we went to the skate shop together where i set
myself up with a BSN (brand spanking new) antihero
board with krux trucks and bones wheels. the deck
art of pigeon with head blown off billowing thick smoke
seems to me a sideways comment on the twin towers.
i liked the one with weasels driving a hummer but the
deck didn't feel quite right so i had to pass, though it
would have been cool to shred it. the library's copy
of emerson was recently lost but i found one by chance
in a used book store--as if something guided my hand.
the orcas skate park is awesome and i'm gonna ride
it next week with johnny from the skate shop and some
other geezers during the "adult swim" after 6 o'clock. i
told him about seattle's Adult Skateboard Society (ASS),
so maybe it will be incarnated here as OrcASS. i hung
with katie and andrea at their farm stand where business
was slow today, maybe because of intermittent rain.
i bought a bottle of tequila for friends' upcoming visit.
a young couple was loading a white pickup with many
cases of booze for their wedding this saturday. they
were both laughing a lot and the old timers in the
store were making jokes about following them home.
some people were going to go for drinks but i got the
itch to ride so i downed a poptart & got back on my
horse, which led me to the abovementioned thoughts.
i was going to soak with some gary snyder essays but
got diverted by a small party of construction workers,
one of whom was ed, sr., 74 years old and still framing.
a korean war veteran with a sociology degree from
berkeley, he's a rightwinger who sees bush is a crook.
we broke the seal on the tequila, talked around the fire.
chris admitted amazement at how rich his week here
has been living without tv. "i know it's brainwashing
me," he said, "but every night i sit and watch it."
then the day was over. piss, brush, sleep, dream...