It's gotten to be a ritual with me: every
week I catch the
358 north at Aurora & 46th, take it by
Green
Lake to 100th, then walk back 2 blocks to 98th where I drop off
a new episode at
SCAN tv. This is my 5th
trip and the first dry one by daylight - the neon lights up pale against
blue skies. I read but don't remember the signs - cafes, bars, restaurants,
used car lots, junkyards, head stones, monuments, motels, racks, auto glass,
fix-it shops, guns, bicycles, new and used computers, cigarettes, gas, Jack
in the Box, Taco Bell, Fushen, 76 - the usual litany of businesses on a stoplight
highway strip. |
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The only thing that keeps it from being
totally depressing is I don't need any of it -for now, at least. Clear skies
for the first time and the moon waits above the bus stop sign.
Tahoma
- The Mountain - looms large, covered with snow, it makes its own clouds.
On the way up the bus was packed - only seat left was all the way in back,
middle of the lastrow 5-seat bench. Man on my right missing many teeth says,
Excuse me, do you have 30 cents? I don't think I do. (This is one
of those zones where you get on fast and pay as you leave, so I haven't checked
my change.) No, sorry, I say. He jingles some coins in his hand. Oh
well. |
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could've checked. Should've checked. Would've checked but my pocket had other
stuff in it - keys, wallet - and to pull it all out of snug jeans while seated
was too much to ask. My stop, standing at the farebox, I pull out wallet,
keys, then drop a dime in, followed by six quarters to make the $1.50 peak
fee, overpaying by 10¢ and I still had 25¢ left. (I'd never just
thrown change into the box without counting it but people were backed up
behind me.) I step off and start walking. I see my seatmate still in the
back and think I am a heel for withholding that 25¢. I don't know why
I feel obliged to give - but just think if everybody gave just a little of
what they could spare. If the bus window were open I'd hand in the quarter,
but it's closed and pulling away. At SCAN, I drop my tape the usual way,
put a sticker on the case, write in the duration: 28:00. It only takes two
minutes. I hand the desk clerk my tape, she retrieves my previous one. Quick
check of bulletin board, I hit the door, turn left towards 99 just in time
to see the southbound 358 departing and on its way. 15 - 20 minutes to wait,
I decide to walk south for a bit, enjoy the day. I stop a few stops down,
look at the moon, the mountain, think about them. Next bus arrives, a woman
in a walker needs the lift to let her off, the bus beeps and a motorized
ramp extends as she declines her traveling companion's offer to carry her.
No, no, she says, I don't trust nobody..., which reminds me
of my grandmother who died alone, bitter, and demented. While waiting for
the ramp to deploy, the guy who'd asked for 30¢ walks by. Excuse
me, I say. Did I see you on the bus before? He smiles yes. It
turns out I did have an extra 25¢. I hand it to him. He says
thanks. |
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