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January 2, 2020

visiting maui with beach-averse in-laws leads us
to the more tourist-y sites, such as the aquarium,
pau distillery, and, today, maui tropical plantation.
the good news is there's lots to learn from all of
it. i've opened my share of fresh coconuts but this
witty guide revealed techniques that would have
made my past attempts simpler and less
messy. we also learned that you can tell
the age of a coconut palm by counting
the raised rings that ascend the trunk
and that macadamia nuts are named
after a man named Macadam. in the
mill house, we saw that there's an in-
verse relationship between how many
people ask you how the meal is and its
quality. we were waited on by at least
six different people, each with a single
task--one to set the table, one to bring
the water, one to bring bread, one to take
the orders, one to bring the food, one to ask
about dessert, and one to lead them all. it
was a challenge to sneak a bite in between
their interrogations. they would have done
better to focus their efforts in the kitchen.