|lately it feels like my life is in the
crapper. has it all been wasted?
squandered my potential and there
doesn't seem much left to look
forward to, no sense of purpose,
the days pile up like empty husks.
at least when i was drinking i had
a sense of bravado, fueled by self
delusion and an unsubstantiated
belief that it would all work out.
now i just feel ridiculous. in this
dark mood, i remind myself to count
my blessings, focus on gratitude. it's
nice to be asked to spin records at a
to watch people
to talk literature
bookseller, make new connections. but
it's like i've regressed to angsty teen,
sick of this shit, squirming in my skin,
stuck but going through the motions...