18 years.

i've been drinking
for 18 years.
sometimes a lot.
like when i lived
          in Prague.
that was fun.
nothing to do but
             get up,
fuck, shower, and
           head out,
to a hospoda (pub)
or vinarna (wine bar)
for a little food
and lots of fine
           Czech beer,
about 50 cents for a
           half liter
and i always had cash,
had worked hard
that summer & had
plenty saved up.

you only had to order
once. as soon as yr.
glass got empty
    (or close to it)
a full one appeared
and the waiter made
his little hash mark.

by the end of the
(one lunch lasted
             10 hours),
the paper would be
covered w/ dozens
of lines thick as a
and we'd stumble out,
back to my aptartment
where i'd peel off
her black stockings
and work it in if
i could get it up.
if not, we'd just
pass out. there'd
always be tomorrow,
until the day
i saw her off
at the train station,
luggage bursting
back to America
and i'd follow in
3 weeks but even that
hurt a lot and i went
to an outdoor place
and drank beer after beer
under an umbrella
and watched black circles
appear on the sidewalk,
drop after raindrop.

dec 26 2002
sunbury, OH
after driving 14 hrs from
minneapolis to sarah's parents'

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