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                October 26, 2004

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I didn't go on this trip expecting to "find myself",
"establish a direction in life", or "choke the
    chicken"--but somehow i managed to do all three.

 these weeks have gone by so quickly, mostly maybe
because my mind was a blank for so much of the journey.
it wasn't a bad feeling. i just kind of sat there empty-headed
as the landscape rolled by the train window, another 7,000
miles, i won't lie and claim i counted all the ties. now i'm one
night's sleep away from seattle, the moon is full over the rockies,
there's snow in the trees. since april, i've spent only about 6 weeks
in what i consider my home. the rest of the time was spent on orcas
, in prague, or on the road. it was all good, but listen to this:

In fact, our thoughts and feelings are us. They are a part of ourselves.
There is a temptation to look upon them, or at least some of them, as
an enemy force which is trying to disturb the concentration and
understanding of your mind. But, in fact, when we are angry,
we ourselves are anger. When we are happy, we ourselves are
happiness. When we have certain thoughts, we are those thoughts.

-Thich Nhat Hanh, from
The Miracle of Mindfulness

I have been thinking about Sarah a lot. At those times, do I become
her? Or are we a shared manifestation of love? Will we merge our
 breath into one?  I look forward to finding out.
      .    .        .